How Controversial Can I Be?

Today, I have a grievance to report. The water bottle that I so admirably won at my cottage last weekend, through my hard work at the Marathon, was stolen. My sister borrowed it and it was stolen from her rowing club. A possible culprit: the fat kid with bling. He was seen walking around the area when her rowing was going on so it is quite possible he took it. Which brings me to my next point: the world could do with a few less thieves.

This is where the controversy comes in. I am not advocating the death penalty, but I am advocating for the extermination of a few human beings. Not necessarily criminals, just some humans. Why you might ask? Overpopulation. The Earth cannot support the number of people currently residing it, and we are causing too many drastic impacts on the ecosystems of the world. So I raise the point, is now a good time to lessen the population of humans a slight bit?

Now killing people seems to be a little draconian, albeit effective. I vote for the good old one child, one household policy, despite the backlash it might have in China. Or at least a set of laws that is similar to that. Unfortunately, even that may not work. With the current health care, people are living much longer and my generation is already predicted to live until we are 130. That is a big number, and adds to the already huge problem of overpopulation. If we do not control it now, something is going to go out of whack and quickly.

Me, I would be fine with a random assortment of humans being transported away, or otherwise disappearing, even if that portion included me. I believe that for the Earth to become a better, cleaner place, some measures need to be taken. And I think if some are not taken, a crisis may break out, possibly worse than some amount of humans just disappearing.

Oh, and if you see the fat kid with bling, give him a good old kidney shot from me.

-AFR

The End of a Hiatus

To begin, I apoligize. I know many of you cannot live without a daily blog post from me. To those people, sorry. To all of the rest of you people who wondered what happened to me and if my blog would continue, your worrying stops here.

I took a hiatus, albeit not a long one. Since my last blog post, I have been trying to avoid using the internet very often. Many days I failed that, the wiles of the internet drawing me in again. But a couple of things happened that would change my outlook on that and make me want to use my computer a lot less. And a warning now: this blog will contain lots of pictures. Normally I am not one to have lots of pictures in my blog, but I felt the need to include more today.

A little background is definitely in order. That picture you see above is a picture of my grandparent's cottage, a place of childhood memories, and an escape from the vices of life. Since I got a job and started university, I have visited that cottage a lot less than I have wanted. A LOT. I love it there. It offers an escape from the technology of the modern world. Usually, the highest class technology we have up there is a black and white TV, which probably has about three channels. (Not that I watch any of them. It is more there for decoration.) Because of this, the cottage is a refuge from all the thingamabobs and doohickeys from the modern civilization.

This picture is the steps leading up to the cottage, the sight that reminds me most of the sacred place of which I am entering. There are so many places that hold fantastic memories, but that is one sight that I always love to see. (Especially after heaving up heavy water jugs all the way from the dock.) The Great Outdoors is what keeps on bringing me back to the cottage and what keeps me fascinated in all the aspects of the cottage life. It is a blast to the past, a sign of a beautiful era that does not need computers, or phones, or pineapples to be awesome. It just needs to be itself and allow others to explore its hidden secrets. I can never be bored at the cottage, there is always time for a canoe or a row, or a game of Chinese checkers.

But lately, with the arrival of my cousins, technology has reared its ugly head. I guess to each their own, and as long as I am not influenced by their new-fangled gadgets, the cottage retains its beauty. I find the need for this technology, even with other people's cottages disturbing. The need to be amused by some pixel on a screen is frankly disgusting, especially when the beauty of nature surrounds you.

To some, these barren rocks and sparse trees probably seem ugly. But to me, these just show the survival and beauty of Mother Nature. The apparent "ugliness" of barren rocks probably does drive some to require technology to keep themselves amused, but it is a unhealthy obsession. When surrounded by such a landscape, with soothing water and a blank canvas for fun, I find technology quite unnecessary. But one man's rock is another man's sanctum I guess you could say.

But enough of these awful tidings of the degradation of human society. This blog post is meant to force you to question how you spend your time on technology, just like I have mine. It also serves another purpose: for me to brag about my awesome cottage. And call me a hypocrite if you want, after all I am typing this from a computer, but keep in mind I have at least made a slight effort to become less dependent on technology by even visiting my cottage (with no internet access).

So I leave you with a parting thought and a parting photo. This may not be the end of my inner struggle against the pull of technology, but I feel I have won a small victory. What can you say? (Feel free to beat me, I do know how much time I spend on the computer, despite what my `rents might think.) So is this the end of a journey, or the beginning?



-AFR

I Have Had it With These Mothertrucking Earwigs in My Mothertrucking Tent!

As some of you may know, I have been living out of a tent for the past two months. I have access to a house, but do not sleep there because in all honesty, sleeping in a tent is much easier than sleeping in the house. It is cooler and more refreshing to sleep in the outside air, and I never have any problems with loud noises when people are moving around the house (except when my neighbours are partying). This is quite important because I go to sleep at around nine every night, well before the rest of my family, and wake up at five in the morning to go to work (I know, barf!).

But there is one thing that does bother me: earwigs. I HATE earwigs. But perhaps, hate is too strong a word, and abhor or detest might work slightly better in this instance. Normally, I do not mind bugs, but earwigs are the exception to that rule. Just their name rings of grossness. Who likes a bug that associates itself with ears and wigs? Probably only a snobby, old British man. Their name also has another meaning for me, being once told that earwigs like to crawl into your ears when you sleep. *Shiver*.

Anyways, there are many earwigs that inhabit the outside of my tent, but thankfully very few that inhabit the inside. They seem to have formed a breeding ground between the window flap and the outside of the tent. Every night before I go to sleep, and every morning when I wake up, I see these earwig clumps, just a mass of gross, crunchy bugs in the aforementioned area. I take a lot of delight in knocking on the tent walls and making them all fall down, but to my chagrin, they always come back.

Their anatomy is another thing that makes them so disgusting. The pair of pincer-like appendages coming out of their rear, screams of something they would use to torture small children with. And I can imagine that they can usually use that to bury deep inside one's ear, searching for the gray matter that they will lay their eggs in. *Queue shiver*. The problem is, those appendages are really the only really gross thing about them. The rest of the body is very similar to other insects, save the tumor that is coming out of their butt.

So there you have it. My opinion on the disgusting creature that is the earwig. And if you did not find earwigs too disturbing before, you probably will now! No need to thank me.

-AFR

Have You Seen Kyle?

On a scale of one to ten, what is the awesome level of this blog?

IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I thought that I would do a quick discussion about Internet memes and memes in general. For those of you who do not know what a meme is:

A meme (pronounced /ˈmiːm/, rhyming with "cream") is a unit of cultural ideas, symbols or practices, which can be transmitted from one mind to another through writing, speech, gestures, rituals or other imitable phenomena.

I was in the bunkers today, and began discussing what memes actually are. And I wondered, how are memes started so quickly and why do they catch on?

For example, in the bunkers we have a bunker meme: "I heard seven is pretty bad." This was started by yours truly, when I was asked which hole had the worst bunkers in terms of weeds. I replied with that statement, and it quickly turned into a meme. So why did it catch on? And why do Internet memes catch on?

I think it is because of repetition. Internet memes spread like wildfire and before you know it, they become commonplace. I think this is because the Internet is so widely used and so easy to pass on ideas with, that funny sayings quickly become popular and widely used.

However, speech memes, such as the aforementioned bunker meme, are a different story. They are not so easily translated and are not as widespread, so they become more of "inside" jokes. They catch on in the same way though, through repetition.

So I propose an idea. Let us create a meme, and pass that on. If everyone uses it often and posts it around the interwebs, we might be able to create our own meme. And that would make us as cool as penguins. And penguins, they are cool.

So proposals for memes are very much welcome. Comment on what you think should be our meme, and if I get no comments I will just make one up myself.

-AFR

A Little Shoutout!

Okay, so instead of ranting or opining, I thought I would just give a little shoutout and thank you to all my readers.

First of all, a special thank you to everyone from California. I really have no idea how you found my blog, but thanks for taking the time to read it. For some reason, despite the fact I live in Canada, you guys are the most numerous in terms of readers. I have two theories on that: one, my one or two of my friends that live in California told all of you and you decided to come visit the site, or two, that in an attempt to study Canadian behaviour more thoroughly, you have been required to read many Canadian blogs. The latter is probably more probable, as the first delves into science fiction. So Californians, I am on to you!

Second, a equally special thank you to the rest of my American readers. Suprisingly, there have been more unique Californian viewers than all of you combined, but I expect that is because the American government believes that the Californians are more suited to the task of reconnaissance, whatever the reason for that being. Thanks for tuning in for a Canadian blog, despite the fact that Canada has been standing on top of you for a long time.

Thirdly, a slightly less special thank you to my Canadian readers. It is great that you guys are reading my thoughts, but the Americans are beating you. This is a 100% Canadian blog, yet you guys are losing in number of readers. Step it up a little guys!

Lastly, a slightly more special thank you to my readers from Hong Kong and the Bahamas. I know that I do not know that many people out there, so thanks for paying attention!

But jests aside, I really thank everyone that has spent some time out of their busy schedules to read my opinions. I do enjoy blogging, but it is nice to know that other people are getting something out of it too.

-AFR

A Critical Analysis of the Last Airbender

SPOILER ALERT!

So I just went to see the Last Airbender tonight and to be frank, I was very disappointed. The casting was terrible, the acting stunk, the bending took way too long in some places, and there was very little character development.

To start with, the fact that a lot of the movie was narrated by a voice over of Katara, made the acting seem repitious and unnecessary in parts. However, with that being said, the acting and the speaking parts followed that narrative style very well. For example:

"Katara, don't hit that with my boomerang," says Sokka in the opening scene. Was that necessary? It was quite obvious that she was running with his boomerang to go hit a big chunk of ice. Not in my opinion. Everything was given away before it happened, which lead to a very, very dry movie.

The pronounciation of Aang, Sokka, Avatar, and probably a couple more names were horrendous. The TV series quite clearly states exactly how each of those should be said, and the movie strays from that quite a bit. On the subject of names, every character's name appeared pretty far into the movie, after we had already met the character. And I believe, Momo's name was not mentioned at all.

The bending in many parts was very flourishy for what it accomplished. The biggest one was when about seven Earthbenders had this big "dance" routine to throw a single small stone. Now, the flourishy aspect of it was cool until the scenes that is took them five minutes to bend one small thing. However, when the bending was quick it really was quite cool to watch.

The last part I will talk about is the plot. I know condensing about seven hours of TV into a two hour movie is quite a daunting task, but they took a little too many liberties. Kyoshi Island and the Earthbenders mining on a ship was combined into one, with no mention of the Kyoshi warriors. They completely skip the part about King Bumi at the city of Omashu which is quite a critical character and part. Avatar Roku was never mentioned, only the blue dragon, who seems to end up becoming Avatar Roku for all intents and purposes. Basically most of the plot is just chopped up then stuck back together in a random order, not good for those who have seen the original series.

My review: a very subpar movie. The only thing that saved it was the bending scenes, which on a whole were absolutely fantastic. The messed up the character's personalities and races and almost completely disregarded the plot, even the main points.

So I leave you with one of the most contreversial quotes in the movie: "Waterbending teaches acceptance," Master Pakku says. Yeah, because in the original series Master Pakku is the one that does not allow Katara to learn Waterbending because he only teaches males. Way to go, M. Night.

2/5 for those who have watched the TV series.
3.5/5 for those who have not.

-AFR

How Texting is Making the Teens Stupider

Might I say, before starting my rant, that I absolutely love Korean music. Even if I cannot understand it much. Anyways, back on topic.

Texting. It has become a worldwide phenomenon. So many people text now, that I would say it is the most used form of communication, mayhaps besides email. So why did I think it is making people stupider? Do not get me started. Oh wait, you want to hear my opinion. Here goes.

Texting itself is not the problem. I find it an extremely useful tool in contacting my friends that I would otherwise have to spend long-distance fees upon. (Not that they are not worth it.) Texting is actually a pretty great form of communication. It is the way people text that is the biggest problem.

Me, I usually do not use contractions and always use correct punctuation, capitalization, and grammar when texting. Most other people do not. And that is what the problem is. When I see a text message like this: i totaly wnt ppl 2 eat mre lnch cz it is awsme, I vomit. Literally. That is possibly the hardest thing in the world to read, and it makes my eyes bleed. Almost all the vowels are omitted, so the message is just merely a shell of its possible glory.

Now why are these shortened phrases so bad? To begin with, they lose the distinction between very similar words. For example, "there", "their", and "they're" are often shortened or just intermeshed regardless of actual grammatical meaning. So a phrase like "I eat there " could easily be misinterpreted. This creates all kinds of confusion and just furthers the possible wrong applications of the word.

Grammar saves lives. To show you why, here is another example:

"Let's eat, grandpa."
"Let's eat grandpa."

One implies consuming food with a grandfather, the other implies consuming a grandfather. So people miss this fact, and I know that I have, for one, started eating someone because of not understanding the meaning of a text.

So all these misinterpretations and errors lead to young adults misunderstanding the meaning of a word. And these shortforms are allowing teens to almost form their own language. They end of using some words differently then they should and create a set of rules that goes against the current laws of correct writing. So if I end up seeing a student's essay when I am a professor, and it contains any shortforms, I will instantly fail them.

I am sure my thoughts are somewhat all over the place in the post, but if any grammar Nazis come and correct me, I will find you and that comment may be the last you ever make.

-AFR

The Degradation of Music?

So among the many topics I thought of today, this one stood out the most. As I was cutting greens, (yet again) I had a mini argument with myself on this topic. (By the way, I won the argument). So I thought I would pose the question immediately: has music degraded over the years?

The reason I bring this up is because with all the new songs and artists coming out, there is a striking similarity in their music. Not the lyrics per say, but more of the way the songs are presented. So within the answer to my question, I have constructed a list of important things to do to become a one hit wonder.

1. Have a catchy, easy pronounceable title. For example, Justine Bieber's "Baby". This is the most important step in the marketing of your song. To help you conceptualize this, I will name my song "Bananas for Love".

2. Get a repetitive, annoying background beat. This will allow the listener to get the beat stuck in their head, even though the beat is somewhat irritating. This will bring the listener into the song and force them to pay attention.

3. Repeat the title in the chorus. This is the most important step. It ensures that your listener will "learn" the title, even if they did not hear it or know it before. This repetition will unconsciously give the reader an assumption of what the title of the song is and makes it so if they search those trigger words, they will easily find your song. To continue my example, the chorus to "Bananas for Love" would go something like this:

I'm going bananas for love, darling
I'll give you bananas for love, baby.
Have some bananas for love, honey.
Bananas for love!

4. Fill in the rest of your song with lyrics that center around love or some such stuff. Make sure that they are not as catchy as the chorus, but speak to the listener so that the listener can relate. An example of lyrics for our song would be:

Have you ever eaten a banana?
The ones that you love.
Well I give those bananas to you,
In hopes that you may return some love to me.

Note the usage of the world love and bananas and the feelings that the giving of the "love" to a nameless girl invoke. I am sure most of you guys (and lesbians) have felt some of the feelings before, correct?

So there you have it. A beautiful song that would hit top ten in a week. And it is about bananas. Sad, is it not?

So the crux of the issue is this: music has become a repetition of the title of the song, and of a relate-able theme. Take "Bad Romance", "Baby", and "Tik Tok" as examples. All repeat the title and all take about some theme to do with teens and young adults. (Don't believe about Justine Bieber's "Baby. Well she says "baby", 55 times during the song. 55 times.)

But ultimately, has this caused the degradation of music? No. Music has almost always been like this. Think about "Rock Lobster" and "Whip It". They were all repetitious. However, I believe that those songs were not all about love, alcohol, and partying. So ultimately, probably better songs.

And if rappers say anything about how they have brought about a new, popular genre, well I have two words for you: Justine Bieber. Yeah, you got beat by a 16-year old girl.

And to all those people that listen to World and Alternative music, I commend you. Most of that is pretty good stuff. Personally, I prefer it most of the time.

-AFR

New Projects

Currently, I am beginning to start a new project. This one is a very large project, but I hope to finish this by the end of the summer. What exactly is this project? Well, I am assembling, converting, basing, and painting a new Warhammer army.

The reason: I am not very good at any of those things. We have some old models lying around, so I thought that I would improve my talent on those, rather than improve my talent on models that I care more about. Because this project is using spare models, this will be a very intense and trying project, but it will better my skills considerably as a gamer and as a hobbyist.

Why am I telling you, my readers, about this? Frankly, I am sure most of you do not care or even know exactly what Warhammer is, and wished that I would take about something more contreversial or humourous, like seal hunting in Saskatchewan or the eventual brunches of a manatee. Well, to answer that question, I thought I would allow you a brief look into my life, to help you understand me a little better.

Regardless of whether you care or not, I figure you need to get something informative out of this blog post. So here you go: the sunbeam snake's Latin name Xenopeltis means "strange covering".

The 3 Types of Golfers

When you work at a golf course, you usually find many different personalities amongst the golfers you meet. I have generalized them into these three categories.

1. The Silent. The name says it all. These golfers are silent as they pass you or just barely acknowledge you with a nod of their head. These golfers are the easiest to tolerate because they do not attempt to engage you in any way and you do not need to engage them in any way in return.

2. The Witty. These golfers seem to feel the need to make a quick joke as they drive by. You must laugh, otherwise the golfer may become offended and then they become dissatisfied and grumpy. This can in turn lead to the termination of your work. Because of this, a simple laugh is the easiest thing to do and it will fulfill their desperate need to be acknowledged. A word of warning: golfers are NEVER funny, so the laugh has to be very fake.

3. The Conversation Starters. These golfers attempt to engage you in a full length conversation, inquiring such menial things as how you are doing, where their ball landed, the weather conditions, etc. In all likelihood, these golfers are the hardest to deal with because it requires conscious effort on your part to keep them satisfied.

So there you have it, the three types of golfers. And even though it seems that golfers are the hardest thing in the world to deal with, they probably are not. Herpes is most definitely harder to deal with.

-AFR

How Many Degrees of Freedom are Necessary?

Well, lately I have found myself wondering what responsibilities/privileges come with becoming an adult. Since I recently reached that magic age in Canada, I really have not noticed too many things different from my life. I never thought too much about this until today.

On my way to a golf outing with my dad, I heard a song about reaching adulthood on the radio. It was somewhat vulgar, but got me thinking. How much freedom comes with turning nineteen and when do I get complete freedom?

And I came to the conclusion: it sure as heck ain't now.

I have been reminded of this fact by my parents very recently and very often. As long as I am under their roof, I follow their rules. Which leads to a fair number of arguements, the most prolonged and frequent one being computer usage.

Now, I will admit, I probably spend much more time on the computer than necessary, but, really how I spend my time, in my opinion, should be up to me. Sure, the intensity at which they profess their anti-computer feelings is good because it gets me off of it, but it gets tiresome after hearing it a thousand times. And many times in the past few months, I have really been wishing that I was back in Vancouver.

So all this arguing and such gets me thinking about just how much freedom I have as opposed to earlier years. Sure, I probably have more than when I was younger, but with the imposed dictatorship of my parents, I still lack complete freedom.

But on that note, I will probably realize the importance of the dictatorship when I start to own my own place. Those rules will definitely be necessary then, even though I will have near-complete freedom. So I guess a thanks is in order for the parents, even though I am sure we will have an argument very shortly about the reason that all the ice cream is always gone.

-AFR

The Benefits of Being a Twin

Just to clear everything up, being a twin is not all sprinkle party cake ice cream (yes, that is actually a flavour). There are a lot of times I wish I was not a twin. See as a twin, you are constantly referred to as an entity. You become the "twins". Sometimes it is good, sometimes bad. The main problem is though, you never know whether your friends are friends with your twin or with you. And my twin and I are quite opposite in our personalities, so we tend to fight or disagree on things a lot.

But when your twin pretends to be you when the Church of Latter Day Saints comes to your door, and tells them that he is too busy conducting a ritual to talk, you really do enjoy the fact that you have someone who looks just like you.

The 4 D's of Twilight

Well, I thought that the time has come for me to throw out some of my opinions/thoughts on the Twilight series. (I refuse to call it Saga, that sounds too epic). Now I have read the first three books and I am going to show you the life cycle of the Twilight series in my mind.

1. Dubiousness. When I first picked up the first book I was unsure of whether I would like a romance novel between a vampire and a whiny human. As I read, I reflected on some of the aspects I liked and some of the aspects I definitely did not like. I reserved judgement until I had ultimately finished the first book. I then thought about how much I had really liked the book, which lead to the second stage.

2. Delight. I had found that I really liked the first book and immediately set about devouring the second and third. Luckily, they were both already on hand, my brother having rented all three to begin with. I read them both and again found myself enjoying them at that moment. Though I found some of the scenes dry, the stories were entertaining at at least kept me guessing and interested. Looking around for the last book I found, to my chagrin, that we were not in possession of the last book. This wait for the book led to the third stage.

3. Disinterest. As the wait seemed to become longer, I found myself becoming disinterested with series on a whole. What at first seemed like good books, slowly turned into just run-of-the-mill fantasy novels the longer I thought about them. After the initial suspense and rush to get my hands on the three books, the adrenaline died down and I found myself not liking the series anymore. This lead to my last stage.

4. Disgust. Perhaps that is too harsh a word. But having not partaken in the last book because of its probable similarities to the other three, I found myself not jumping on the Twilight bandwagon and entering the craze that surrounded the books by then. This craze was what brought on my disgust, I believe. The media attention, the fan girls, the Twihards, all contributed in ruining what started out as a somewhat decent series. Then when the movies started coming out, I was really sickened by way the books were being taken. They were becoming standards for choosing boyfriends, standards for living, and the messages they were sending out were horrifying when thought about in depth.

So, thus, the life cycle was complete. It went from enthused to indifferent to disgusted. And before all the Twihards come and bash me, well, it is your fault I do not like the books. Your obsession with a decent book has created many of the people who dislike Twilight today. So you have no one to blame, but yourselves.

Edward Cullen. (Those two words alone will probably get my site at least ten more views, if not more).

-AFR

On the Innocence of Frogs

Ask anyone I know and they will tell you one thing: that I love frogs. Frogs to me are one of the most awesome creatures to ever grace this beautiful planet. Which is why what I am about to say has really put me in a somewhat foul mood today.

I currently work at a golf course. I do many things there including greens cutting, bunker raking, irrigation, etc. and today was no different. I was string trimming with a weed whacker and we were almost done with all eighteen holes. Now, we had been told to trim the pond edges after the rest of the course was done, so once we had finished the last two holes we moved to trim them next. Now this is where my story starts.

I had forgotten about the frogs that happened to dwell upon the pond edge, their habitats right in the way of our trimming. And while we walked over to the edge I came to a horrible realization: we would probably be mowing down frogs in our quest for short grass. I was horrified to say the least. At that point though, there was no turning back. We had an hour until lunch and I decided that I would have to try to brave it out and talk to the managers after lunch to see if I could switch jobs.

I would like to think that all the frogs in my trimming area escaped unharmed, but I know for a fact I hit at least one. When I saw that frog's dead body floating in the pond, honestly, I almost cried. To inflict such suffering on a creature I loved so dearly was very hard for me to bear.

We were sent home at lunch, so I will not have to do that job again today, and you can bet your buckets that I will be not doing that job ever again.

But there is a point to my story, a question I would like to pose to readers. Why are humans probably one of the only animals on Earth that kill other animals needlessly? And to follow up on that, are humans really that advanced from other animals, so advanced that they look down on other animals and feel nothing in taking their lives?

Now, I am not advocating for animal rights, far from it. Personally, there should not even need to be something like "animal rights". There should be no need to have to institute a set of rights that should be inherent in our existence. Other animals do not need them, so why do humans need to create them? For one reason: because we treat other animals like crap.

Before I go pointing fingers at everyone, note that statement applies to the human race as a whole, not as an individual. Some might say "survival of the fittest" is the reason why humans are so powerful or advanced and thus need advanced terminology like rights, but I say the opposite. Humans are the least advanced species on the Earth in my opinion. Before you say, "I am superior, I have a gun," take a minute to think about that. Are humans advanced because they can use tools? I say no. A frog can jump thirty times its body length, a cat has claws and built-in night vision, even mosquitoes have wings. Humans have none of these advantages. Humans are weak, cannot jump high, cannot run fast, and most nowadays cannot even survive in the wilderness for a couple days without processed food or television. Is that advanced? No.

Anyways, if you managed to read this far, I commend you. You survived one of my rants! Now give yourself a pat on the back and watch the television for a little longer, while your food cooks itself in the microwave.

-AFR